Wisdom, Wit & What Not | Volume Two

VOLUME TWO HAS ARRIVED!! (I know you all were waiting on the edge of your seats for this weeks set of stories!) Wisdom, wit and what not round two!!! In case you missed it, each Tuesday you’ll find a collaboration of the story tellings based on the life of yours truly, by yours truly. They’ll make you smile, they’ll make you laugh, they’ll make you cry. (And spoiler alert: They’ll make you want to squish a spider until it dies! Also, ten points for rhyming). Read on my friends….read on.


-I FINALLY went to my dentist appointment to get some work done (I may or may not have rescheduled 4 times. Okay fine. I did). Gifts, accolades & applause welcome.

-This last Tuesday I was hiking through a field while taking engagement pictures and I kid you not, a bird (which in the moment seemed more like a Pterodactyl hiding in the grass…sneaky little thing) came flying up, squaking and flapping! I jumped and screamed so loud (very professionally of course), as my life flashed before my eyes. Two good things came from this experience: 1) My clients had a good sense of humor and laughed with me… 2) I got to reenact this moment for Michael and oh guys, it was incredibly special!

-So my feet get cold. Like really cold. Apparently Michael does not like me warming them up on him after we get into bed (I don’t know why not. It feels great to me!) So this week I tried a new tactic. It was called turn off all the lights, stand over the heater for twenty seconds then run like a mad woman slightly screaming and dive into bed!!! If it sounds successful that’s nice. It wasn’t. (Sorry Michael, I tried).

-I was reminded of brevity of life this week as a sweet friend in my Bible Study group passed away suddenly in her sleep. I was reminded tears are good, the body of Christ is strong for one another, the truth of God’s word is meant to be clung to in all seasons and God is still good even when we don’t understand.

-This last Friday was one of my beautiful couple’s wedding day! (Holla!!) Not only was the weather an incredible (81 degrees and the birds were singing), but can I just say the venue literally left me starry eyed! I’d like to thank Keegan & Rick for having such amazing taste, my parents for teaching me to appreciate such taste, and Michael for being there by my side to experience it with me!

-One of the many (many, many, many, many……) things I love about my in-laws is the way they throw big family get togethers for just about any reason! Food in abundance, relatives everywhere and hugging happening like no ones business. Mother’s Day was no exception. Oh, and I think I ate more cupcakes this weekend than I have in the last six months combined!

-I’d like to give a shout out to both my mom by birth and mom by marriage! Boy oh boy did I hit the jackpot with these two women! The love fiercely, serve selflessly, care deeply, encourage relentlessly! May I be half the woman they are!

-We went with some good friends to The Escape Artist in downtown KC, MO! If you don’t know what that is–basically you pay people money to lock you in a room then role play Sherlock in order to find a way out! I’d like to formally announce that we can say if the four of us were trapped in a room and had to find and piece together all the clues to break out—we could do it! (Well, Michael and Ritchey could….Melissa and I are just there for moral support, clue searching and a good time!)

-Reality hit this week people! (Sometimes putting things into perspective–like the closing of our house is in 17 days–throws me into a freak out tail spin!!) Needless to say, this lit a fire under Michael and I!!! So we have officially packed our first round of boxes! WHOOP WHOOP!

-In doing so, we decided to tackle the basement and garage first….because let’s be honest, who ever wants to pack those? And OH GUYS! Two hours of packing could give me paragraphs of material! HAHA! This week I choose to focus on the spider. (That dreaded creature. I know they keep the cycle of life in order but seriously!? Why the heck does there have to be so many of them!?)

-Let’s start in the garage. I kid you not, I tip-toed around bent over like a 97 year old woman afraid my head was going to get caught in a web. (Because apparently my whole 5 ft 2 frame wasn’t short enough). It’s not like they were in abundance….but my imagination sure confirmed they were! This sets the stage. Michael’s moving things around like a boss, and let’s just say I’m not. I feel a hair on my arm and I may or may not have screamed. He’s laughing. I’m not. Then I take a rake and start waving it around in front of me to destroy any web that might threaten my path. Michael thinks this is hilarious. I think it’s innovative. I don’t know how much help I was out there….but I was some great entertainment!

-Then let’s move to the basement. I’m feeling a little better about my situation until I pushed things out from under the cabinet. A PACK of spiders come running at me!!!! (Because in my world two spiders is a pack). And they have eight legs people! They’re moving quick! So what do I do? I step on the closest one to me! Stomp! Stomp! Stomp! Stomp! Stomp! Stomp! Stomp! (I had to make sure it was dead). I look up to see Michael laughing (we’re back to that), I start to breathe again until I look down and something amazing was happening! The spider zombie apocalypse was occuring right in front of my eyes! Pulling himself along with two legs and dragging the other six! How in the world??? It didn’t last long….I took the vacuum and sucked him to his death.

-After a few more occurrences like the above two mentioned I began to have a conversation with myself on the topic of Spiderman. Back and forth I debated, unable to decide if I now abhorred this “hero” (Seriously?? A spider a hero??) or if my respect for Peter Parker skyrocketed because he became one with such a creature! The verdict is still out….

-And after all that, I found a single thread of a web in my car. This is more intimidating to me than seeing the actual spider. It’s like he’s lurking somewhere in the vents (probably laughing….do spiders laugh?) saying, “Be afraid. Be very afraid.”

-After thought: Pray for me this week as I drive that I don’t get in a car crash when the spider does decide to reveal himself. Death of spider > Eyes on the road

-If you’re asking if there is any way I could have more deep thoughts about spiders the answer is yes. But I’m sure we’ll talk about them more at another time.


So there it is! Another week in the life of Lacey. What can I say? Never a boring moment! Until next week friends….

[Did you miss Volume One? Click HERE to find out what happened last week!}