I’ve started writing this more times that I can remember. I’d begin, write, re-write…and then feel this overwhelming sense of inadequacy in retelling the incredible workings of our God…then stop.
But I know a few things so deeply inside of me.
I know that our stories must be told.
Because here’s the thing. When our God enters into the pages of our lives and reveals His character, His love, His power, His timing–and then we share those things with others–it actively does a couple things. With each retelling of the great works of our God, we’re reminded again of who He is and what He’s done and our faith deepens. We are prone to forget so quickly and the antidote to that is keeping His works on the forefront of our hearts and minds and tongues. He’s the same God in the previous seasons of our lives as He is in these new ones.
But not only that, those same words that we speak declaring how God came through in our lives have the potential to become defining moments in someone else’s faith journey as well. They see how real and present and active God is and realize that this God of ours can be theirs too.
Stories are powerful.
And so it’s with that that I take a deep breath, pray again for God to give me the words to share what He’s done in our family and act in obedience to write.
If you’re just now joining our story, be sure to read THIS, THIS and THIS first. I don’t know how many sections our adoption story will be told in or how they will be broken up….but here we go friends. May you read and wonder at our good God and His beautiful redemption in our lives.
Much of our story felt like waiting.
Though the waiting never made sense to me at the time, it was a chance for me to open back up my tightly held dreams and surrender them to a good God. When we waited to get pregnant, I was called to open back up “my” plans of when our family would grow. When we waited on test result after test result, I was called to open back up “my” desire for control. And then we entered yet another season of waiting once all our adoption paperwork, trainings, readings, home studies, profile books were complete. Now I was called to open back up “my” longing for all these puzzle pieces to be put together and understood.
But when we rush God’s timing, we miss so much of getting to personally experience Him (and know beyond a doubt that it is Him) working in our lives.
So there we were, waiting for a spot on the “active list.” (Michael often phrased it, “Just waiting to wait”). We knew once a spot opened up to be actively viewed by moms that it would also mean waiting until they came to Bethany, which would lead to waiting to see if she’d chosen our profile, which would lead to waiting for her baby to be born…
By the end of last year all our necessary steps had been taken and there we were, just waiting to be moved. We had prepped ourselves mentally to stay in this limbo state for a good year. Domestic infant adoptions had been slow in our region and there were a handful of couples ahead of us who would be moved to the list before us.
But God works on a completely different timetable than we do.
In January we got the call.
There had been an unforeseen rush of adoptions which left a spot for us on the active list! We cried. And rejoiced. And praised God….and then I panicked. I realized that with the move to the active list required the next payment of $8500. I took a look at our finances and took a look at what the upcoming adoption expenses would be and knew the numbers didn’t add up.
So clearly I remember crying on our living room couch asking, “How in the world are we going to do this??” Michael wrapped his arms around me and said, “Lacey, we have a big God.”
And indeed we do….