I take a deep breath and look back at the past twelve months…
Most days I can hardly believe that it’s been real. Oh how vast is the love of the Lord and how full His blessings! This time last year we weren’t even live on the adoption list….and as I sit here and write this post my heart is overwhelmed to think that we have a nine month old! For 2019 I chose “growth” as my word of the year. It’s a verb that means, “a gradual act, a process, improvement, flowering, increase and unfolding.” Little did I know God would take that word and powerfully let it have stunning ripple effects throughout each area of my life.
Growth to our family.
Growth in my capacity as a wife and friend.
Growth as a mother.
Growth as a business owner and mompreneur.
Growth seemed to touch every sphere of my life. Sometimes those growing pains were hard. Most times they were breathtaking.
This year–this year…
We lived day to day anticipating “the call” for a match.
We met (unknowingly at the time) our future son’s mother.
We fell in love with her.
We waited (with collective breaths held) to hear if she’d chosen us.
We were humbled when she asked us to be his parents.
And praised God.
We were invited into her moments, her memories, her sacred space…and allowed to watch our son be born.
We named him with his mom and were given precious memories I will never forget.
We wept some more.
We lived through sleepless nights in the best kind of way.
We navigated the new terrain of parenthood.
We felt community in a way we’d never before imagined or experienced.
We watched each other become parents.
(Yes, we cried some more).
We fell in love with our son every day in a new way each time.
We anticipated milestones and wondered as he hit them.
We went to court and with right hands raised, we swore to love him and raise him as our own.
We wept some more.
We watched his personality emerge.
Heard him laugh, watched him roll and soothed his cries.
We saw firsthand each family member fall in love our son.
We cherished the bonds that were formed and never ceased to wonder at God’s great and glorious, precious and perfect timing.
Never before have I felt so many simultaneous emotions at once. Never before have I been so full of words and so speechless at the same time. This year has been unlike anything I could have imagined. Greater. Harder. Sweeter. I’ve wanted to come here, to share with you all….but it seemed like too much for this bursting, weary, abounding heart to process.
But I realized I can’t stay quiet anymore.
There are too many things I’ve watched the Lord do. Too many promises He’s kept to not shout it from the mountains. Too many lessons we’ve learned (and goodness, we’re only nine months in!) I’m learning our great God has entrusted me with this space. He’s given me a very unique, specific story and interwoven His constant character and grace throughout it. And I want you (yes, you) to be a part of it all….
So, this post was to open the door just a crack.
To take a tiny step back into this space and begin sharing our lives and our good God in the midst of it all. Life seems busy and full and constantly on the move (and Asher just started crawling last night!) but I want to show up here. We grow together friends. That’s the way God meant for it to work. So as I’m continuing to grow, to figure this whole thing out….as you’re continuing to grow….we’re to inspire and encourage and authentically share our life’s today’s and the ways that we found our God in them and grow side by side.
So here it goes.
Keep me accountable.
Let’s grow together…