Over time I’ve grown to love choosing a word for the year. For me it’s not haphazard or picked on a whim. In past years I’ve taken intentional time to step back and look at the year past and then look forward at the year to come. I pray and ponder and journal. (And then pray some more). I wish I could write all the ways those words have encompassed and detailed my life. It’s truly astounding.
This year, my word came a little differently than I expected.
January of this year our little family took two and half weeks to go to Colorado and spend time with my side of the family. It was a time of rest and reset. A time to reflect and figure out new rhythms. Up until that point, life was a little busier than normal (hello first year trying to goal set with a baby!) I knew when we arrived in Colorado I would have time away from my business and everyday duties to really settle in and think about 2020.
One day there I was driving in the car trying to organize my thoughts and plans (Ha! Both humorous if you think about it). The more I thought, the more stressed about this year I became. What should I begin in our family unit? What kinds of goals should I aim towards in my business? How is this year going to be different? Can I change? What kind of friend do a want to be? Sister? Mom? Wife? ………
And there, in the midst of my own craze of voices, I heard a still small One. He whispered back, “It’s not about what you should do, it’s about who I want you to become.“
I had prayed for moments like these.
I longed for them.
For direction, guidance, listening to where He was leading me.
And this was it.
Over the course of the next couple weeks I tried my hardest to pick a different word. Nothing worked…and I knew beyond a doubt that it was because He had already chosen my word.
And then just in case I wasn’t sure, He clarified it.
One night while we were in Colorado we had a girls night out with my mom, sister, cousin, aunt & grandma. (Dinner, movie, shopping–the whole shebang!) Afterwards we were driving my grandma home and I was talking with her about how I admired–into her eighties–that she goes for regular walks, invites friends over for dinner, joins groups & stays involved. I told her, “Grammie, I hope I’m like you when I get older.”
It was then she said it.
“If you start now, you’ll do it later.”
I don’t think she knew the depth of impact her words she had on me. There it was again. Becoming. God cared less about my do to’s for this year and more about the woman He envisions me to be. And who I am right now, is literally who I am becoming! (My mind was blown!)
My decisions in each moment of each day are shaping the woman I hope to be down the road. That means if I desire to know God’s word inside and out and then live my life full and overflowing with those words—that starts now, waking up and getting to know His word each morning. If I hope to be disciplined and have a body that plays well and hard with Asher, that keeps up with him as he grows and inspires him to steward his own well–that starts now, by exercising today when I feel like doing anything but. If I desire to be a wife with a marriage that is deep and who encourages & serves her husband daily–that starts now, in everyday words and actions that show him he is my priority. (And oh friends, I could go on!)
In my daily pivot point decisions I’ve been stopping and repeating those words, “Is this choice ____ going to transform me into who I hope to become?”
It’s changed me already.
It’s impacted countless decisions.
It’s helped me move my wake up time to 5:30 because I long for God’s word to be alive in me and my body to be conditioned by the time Asher wakes up.
It’s changed my eating pattern.
My daily choices.
A word that when I look at 2020 I hope that the actions that I take–goals that I set–would funnel through that word and filter out anything that doesn’t align. He’s changing me. And oh by the time this year ends how I hope I will be changed even more…